來源頭條作者:原創(chuàng)英語寫作范文文/劉寶彩/天津

今天3月12日是植樹節(jié)，寫作一篇“難忘植樹節(jié)經(jīng)歷”的英語作文。為了準(zhǔn)確寫作英語作文，請學(xué)生看看以下三個部分內(nèi)容：一、看高分24分作文，二、看低分19分作文，三、看怎么讓19分爬升到24分。

一、看24分作文如下：

就An unforgettable experience of planting trees題目，寫作英語作文如下：

By“experience of planting trees”, I mean that all students together with me could acquire the knowledge and skill from/through planting trees today, on the tree-planting day, March 12 every year.

At the time I joined my school in planting trees to learn a lot about their the advanced technologies used by tree-planting workers whom our teacher invited to do so.

Some of them finish digging 0.5-meter-deep holes mechanically in the ground in a park where young trees have been put one by one, closely followed into being watered by students and me, according to workers. This leads to my feeling a strong sense of responsibility towards an excellent environment.

This environment laid a sound foundation for people including students to live a happy life and keep them in good health, for which their dream may come true.

I should be really proud of being successful in creating the natural environment, so should others, who are happening to know that the friendly environment is considered as being extremely important for people to live a comfortable life.

To live such a life, people are enabled to perform general duty under which to safeguard environment, in my belief.

Everyone will be excited about the stably healthy environment in daily life which, feeling naturally friendly, turns people beneficial to living a positively active life.

It is safe with people who are made happy in mentality or mind, encouraging people including students to develop physically and intellectually, thoughtfully.

This ensures that the properly warm environment is to prove favourable to students who feel in much better health, needing to be brought in delight. That helps make it comfortable to them to enjoy so much better life in school.

Thinking about this, I will be enabled to believe in so much worthy environment created by planting trees. The above tree-planting activity shows beauty to school where to make the environment friendly to students getting in happiness and having a really high quality of the teaching-and-learning life.

Assisting people in improving a good health by planting trees, everyone knows nothing could not be done excellently environmentally. This will last forever to have the life to the full enjoyed by most people.

Learning how importantly the good environment is to provide all around, I will regard it as being necessary to hold this school or roads on streets clean without leaving garbage/rubbish here and there, which does not seem at risk in environment.

The more trees plantation turns highly favourable for keeping people well in study, at work and in life, which sets brightly-green environment beautiful to have an its actively positive impact on all people.

二、看19分作文如下：

“An unforgettable experience of planting”

It is universally acknowledged that protecting environment is everyone's duty, especially for teenagers. Therefore, my classmates and I took part in an annually planting trees activity held by our school.

The activity was consisted of two parts. First of all, students who joined in this activity gathered in the school auditorium to learn what kind of trees would be planted and how to plant.

Then we went to a park by school bus and conducted our planting plan under the guidance of our teachers. Through that students could learn the importance of trees and boost our strength.

Although this activity brought much tiredness to me, I still think it is bound to be a precious memory for me.”

三、看怎么把19分英語作文改進(jìn)提升到24分評析如下三方面：

㈠對19分英文作文，存在問題六點分析如下：

1這篇英語作文的有效句子是protecting environment is everyone's duty, especially for teenagers（保護(hù)環(huán)境是每個人的責(zé)任，特別是青少年）和…students could learn the importance of trees（…了解到樹木的重要性），其中缺少原因和結(jié)果的陳述;

2沒有寫出為什么“難忘”unforgetable experience of planting之難忘;

3出現(xiàn)無實質(zhì)思想的模板句如：It is universally acknowledged that…（眾所周知…）；解釋性如：…went to a park by school bus and conducted our planting plan（…乘校車去了公園兒、進(jìn)行了我們的種植計劃）；無效句敘述的較多如：First of all,Then（首先…其次…）以及口號式的句子，如：to be a precious memory for me（是一個寶貴的記憶），其中沒有提及“寶貴”之處;

4存在中式思維句如：learn the importance…了解到重要性；boost our strength增強(qiáng)我們的力量，其正確的應(yīng)分別是：see the importance；build up strength

5單詞拼錯如：unforgetable和tireness了，其正確的分別是unforgettable和tiredness；及物動詞使用出錯，根據(jù)原英語作文談及的是“種樹”，標(biāo)題應(yīng)是“An unforgettable experience of planting trees”不應(yīng)是“An unforgettable experience of planting”；…be consisted of不妥，也就是說，不及物動詞不能使用被動語態(tài)，而應(yīng)使用主動語態(tài)，即，…consists或consisted…。

6這篇原英文作文整體上看，少了思想“靈魂”，所以要深挖“植樹的獨特思想性及其保護(hù)環(huán)境是每個人的責(zé)任”之觀點產(chǎn)生的原因及其結(jié)果，以及產(chǎn)生這觀點的思想理論需要采取什么措施就足可以變成實際現(xiàn)實等。

㈡19分英語作文，沒有深挖或補(bǔ)充“植樹的獨特思想性及其保護(hù)環(huán)境是每個人的責(zé)任”之思想

就An unforgettable experience of planting trees題目，補(bǔ)充思想是：所有學(xué)生和我今天能通過每年3月12日學(xué)習(xí)到種樹知識和技巧。這樣加入學(xué)校種樹活動，向種樹工作人員學(xué)習(xí)到了許多有關(guān)先進(jìn)技術(shù)。

例如：工作人員用機(jī)械完成在公園深挖半米的坑，然后把樹苗一顆顆地放入緊隨其后由學(xué)生包括我按照工作人員要求澆水。這讓學(xué)生覺得對優(yōu)美的環(huán)境有一種強(qiáng)烈的責(zé)任感。

這種環(huán)境為包括學(xué)生們在內(nèi)的人們對快樂生活和身體健康可以夢想成真，提供了良好的基礎(chǔ)，對此學(xué)生們?yōu)槌晒?chuàng)造自然的環(huán)境感到無比自豪，其他人們也應(yīng)該感到自豪因為恰恰知道適合的環(huán)境被認(rèn)為對人們舒適地生活是極其重要的。

我相信，讓過著這種生活的人們有義務(wù)履行保護(hù)環(huán)境的責(zé)任。

每一個人在日常生活中對穩(wěn)定健康的環(huán)境，都將會開心的，這源于因自然和睦使得人們受益于過著積極正能量的生活。這樣人們精神愉悅而覺得安全，所以鼓勵含學(xué)生在內(nèi)的他們從理念上重視發(fā)展了身體和智力。

由此適宜溫馨環(huán)境有利于學(xué)生們處于健康得到快樂，這樣有助于其在學(xué)校充分享受更加美好的生活。所以學(xué)生們相信種樹帶來的環(huán)境頗有價值。上述種樹活動展示了：學(xué)校之美麗讓和睦環(huán)境帶給學(xué)生喜悅及在教和學(xué)中享有高質(zhì)量的生活。

如此思想性有了就完全符合“一次難忘的種植經(jīng)歷”得24分是無疑的，甚至滿分25分了。

㈢19分跟24分作文思想對比

1. 19分英語作文思想語言少，過程敘述語言多

“一次難忘的種植經(jīng)歷，眾所周知，保護(hù)環(huán)境是每個人的責(zé)任，特別是青少年。因此，我和我的同班同學(xué)參加了我們學(xué)校一年一度的植樹活動。

這項活動由兩部分組成，參加這次活動的同學(xué)們聚集在學(xué)校禮堂，學(xué)習(xí)應(yīng)該種植什么樣的樹，如何種植。然后我們乘校車去了公園兒，在老師的指導(dǎo)下進(jìn)行了我們的種植計劃，通過這個活動，學(xué)生們可以了解到樹木的重要性，增強(qiáng)我們的力量。雖然這次活動給我?guī)砹撕芏嗟钠?，但我認(rèn)為這對我來說。一定是一個寶貴的記憶?！彼耘c思想無關(guān)的一些過程的話應(yīng)該刪除，代替之是如下24分作文思想便正確了。

2. 判24分的英語作文思想

通過種樹，學(xué)生們學(xué)會了種樹知識和技巧，例如，澆水量、挖坑深度”等及種樹的意義，如“前人栽樹后人乘涼，以營造良好的自然環(huán)境（natural environment）”，以及感悟如：“種樹可以為人們有利于學(xué)習(xí)、生活和工作，提供更加優(yōu)雅的綠色（brightly-green）環(huán)境”。對優(yōu)美環(huán)境有一種強(qiáng)烈責(zé)任感，通過種樹，學(xué)生為成功創(chuàng)造自然的環(huán)境感到無比自豪，讓過著舒適生活的人們有義務(wù)履行保護(hù)環(huán)境——穩(wěn)定健康的環(huán)境。

好的環(huán)境促進(jìn)了人們從理念上重視身體和智力的發(fā)展，充分享受更加美好的生活。看出種樹帶來的環(huán)境頗有價值，展示了學(xué)校之美麗讓和睦環(huán)境帶給學(xué)生喜悅及享有高質(zhì)量的生活。就良好的環(huán)境而言知道沒有什么不可以做到的。因此提供俱佳環(huán)境是多么重要而不是到處丟垃圾以致不讓環(huán)境處于風(fēng)險之中。

基于豐富的思想寫英語作文，得24分的英語作文就水到渠成了。

總結(jié)：

上述英語作文——實際上就是要通過植樹，深挖其中的思想性，包括思想產(chǎn)生的原因及其思想結(jié)果。還有產(chǎn)生這些思想需要采取什么措施就足可以了，而不要說一些個過程的話。

至于寫一些高檔詞匯，我的看法是：只要有思想內(nèi)容，高檔的詞匯自然就會產(chǎn)生；如無思想，那高檔的詞匯是出不來的，所以皮之不存，毛之焉附（皮為思想；毛為高檔詞匯）。

由此看出：得到24分！大考英語作文怎么從19分爬升到24分么高分，由此定對考生有啟示！解決了——“難忘植樹節(jié)經(jīng)歷”的英語作文是怎么從低分爬升到高分呢？——之問題。